The Ego Has Landed

by Phileas

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about

All music and lyrics by Phil Nice
Produced 2016-2017 in Denmark and England
Phil Nice: Vocals, guitars, banjo, basses, keyboards, harmonica, drums and percussion
Trumpet and trombone on "No Way, No How, Nowhere" by Kevin Grenfell
Guest vocals on various numbers by Karen Nice, Kevin Grenfell, M.C. Hansen, Torben Kaas, Lars Harboe, Ulla Britt Simonsen

credits

released August 6, 2017

All music and lyrics by Phil Nice
Guest artists:
Karen Nice
Ulla Britt Simonsen
MC Hansen
Lars Harboe
Torben Kaas
Kevin Grenfell

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Phil Nice Denmark

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Track Name: Sad Sack Cafe
Sad Sack Café

Sore heads and scrambled eggs
At the Sad Sack Café
Recycled coffee dregs
At the Sad Sack Café
Morning fog
A hair of the dog
To wash the bile away
And by the way
What day is it today?

Sausage, beans, broken dreams
At the Sad Sack Café
Bad news, worn out shoes
At the Sad Sack Café
You didn’t come for company
And the food is dressed to kill
If the salmonella don’t get you
Something else will

We’ve all been sitting here so long
We’re getting pretty long in the tooth
Life is stale and dry as last week’s apple pie
And flavourless as freshly unscrewed orange juice

The strongest tea in history
At the Sad Sack Café
Deep-fat-fried misery
At the Sad Sack Café
The outside world looks better
When you’ve sat here half the day
My depression gets depressed
And goes away
Track Name: Sue Me
You say my trees are stealing your light
Sue me
You say my car is blocking your drive
Sue me
So what if I like to party all night?
I’ll build my outhouse where I like
If you don’t like it you can take a hike
Or sue me

I bought all the toilet paper in the store
Sue me
Yes, I’m expecting a third world war
Sue me
I’ve dug me my very own hole in the ground
Gonna hide with my woman till things cool down
I’d invite you too but three’s a crowd
Sue me

Why don’t you sue me?
Take me to the cleaners
Then hang me out to dry
Sue me
Let’s get legal
I’d sure like to see you try

Maybe I’m an anarchist
Sue me
One more sin for your black list
Sue me
I get going while the going’s good
I never do what the hell I should
If you think you own the neighbourhood
Sue me

I bought all the toilet paper in the store
Sue me
Yes, I’m expecting world war four
Sue me
I’ve dug me my very own hole in the ground
Gonna hide with my woman till things cool down
I’d invite you too but three’s a crowd
Sue me
Track Name: Junkyard Dog
You'd better do right by me
I don't forgive just anything
Tread on my toe you ought to know
I'm gonna be a junkyard dog about it

You better not yank my chain
I'll never pussyfoot around
Break my balls
I ain't your fool
I'm gon-na be a junkyard dog, watch out!

I'll be the ni-cest guy in the wes-tern world
if you tread real soft on my street
Never said boo to a goose or moo to a moose
But I'll be bar-king mad if you diss me

You bet-ter say pret-ty please
I'm not your door-mat in the hall
com-mit a sin like bar-ging in
I'm gon-na be a junk-yard dog, watch out

No, I won't let go
I got my teeth sunk in too deep
So tired of me you'll leave me be
I'm gon-na be a junkyard dog, watch out
Track Name: Second Fiddle
Always in shadow
Out of the gaze
By default or design
Spinning a thread
Finding a way
The one-eyed leading the blind
Never the talk of the town
Go for a swim
Go for a drown
Your absence unnoticed
Well into next week
A vital component
Nowhere to be found

Always the bridesmaid
Never the bride
Nowhere near the bouquet
But pulling some strings
In a corner somewhere
Winning the day
Then fading away
You’ll live with a modest return
Safe on a hilltop
Watching Rome burn
Famine or flood
Rivers of blood
You’re the cat in the middle
Second fiddle

Always passed over
Never in line
Somebody else got the points
Stealing ideas
To present as his own
Mix up some poison
Throw him a bone
Don’t ask the bird in the gilded cage
The guy with the letters after his name
That sings for his supper
Does what he’s told
Go find the guy with the key to the gold

Always in shadow
Knowing your place
Keeping the project afloat
All those fragile egos
Hitting the sauce
Pour them into a taxi
As a matter of course
You’ll live with a modest return
Safe on a hilltop
Watch empires burn
Famine or flood
Rivers of blood
You’re the cat in the middle
Second fiddle
Track Name: Ruby Slippers
You say you're looking for a brand new guy
If you don't advertise, no one's gonna buy
You're feeling lonely day and night
It's no use getting all up tight
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do
The party's not gonna come to you
So put your ruby slippers on

Two steps forward one step back
Two at the door and one in the sack
Look in the mirror, are you gettin fat?
Pop some pills and drink some Jack
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do
The party's not gonna come to you
So put your ruby slippers on

So let's party
Let's party
Let's party like they landed on the moon
Let's party let's party
it's later than you think
No time left for doom and gloom

Feels like the world has passed you by
It'll all come again, so don't you cry
I'll sit and wait on your front step
And watch the stars while you get set
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do
The party's not gonna come to you
So put your ruby slippers on
Track Name: These Shoes
They walked the streets of Paris
Kicked up the dust in Rome
And through the northern winter
They braved the rain and snow
These shoes have danced their final
Shuffle, tap and step
They’re about as sorry as a pair of shoes can get

Their eyes are full of water
Their tongues are hanging out
Their soles are paper thin
They yawn, they smile, they pout
These shoes have seen the last of
Puddles, mud and grit
It’s time for us to call it quits

They cooled their heels in Oslo
Kicked up a fuss in Bonn
And two Aegean summers
They stretched out in the sun
These shoes have stomped their final
Rhythm on the stage
The world demanded dues
And these shoes have paid

They were with me at my marriage
They saw my daughter born
They walked with me through hardship
Through countless ups and downs
If shoes could talk I know they’d
Tell a sorry tale
Of life at pavement height
Of bugs and slugs and snails
Track Name: One Man Band
I’m a one man band
Out in the rain
With a thousand melodies
But not one dollar to my name
I’m not feeling sorry
No I’m living my dream
Letting the wind take me

I’m a troubadour
Out on the street
With thunder as accompaniment
And puddles at my feet
But I’m not feeling put upon
No one’s lucky as me
I get this all for free

A rusty accordion
My old tambourine
Gotta travel light enough
To run from the police
All folks at rush hour
Too stressed to notice me
You’ll go back to your luxury
And bore yourself to sleep

Yes I’m a one man band
Nobody to you
With city grit in every pore
And in my spirit too
But I’m not complaining
No, I’m living the dream
Haven’t paid a dime in taxes
Since last century
Track Name: The Gypsy in Me
And when I listen to that song
You’re humming as you walk along
And hear the way you’ve got the beat
Like it’s living in your feet
That brings out the gypsy in me
I wanna get you on that floor
Amongst the sawdust and the straw
And swing you round until we’re done
We melt together till we’re one
Oh, it brings out the gypsy in me

Wanna dance and sing and swim in the sea
Without a stitch upon my bones
Away with every trace of melancholy
I’ve never been so at home, so far from home
Miles from stress and telephones

When you light that joint and pass it round
It’s like I never lived in town
And to the pleasure of your tones
Forget my mortgage and my loans
That brings out the gypsy in me
Track Name: The Ego Has Landed
You thought you were special
It doesn’t mean that you’re not
It’s a question of focus
The big picture or the microdot
It just doesn’t matter
When you’ve rounded the hill
Everyone’s headed
For the same bitter pill

You thought that it mattered
It doesn’t mean that it don’t
But is everything broken
When things aren’t what you hoped?
Didn’t get what you wanted
Can you want what you got?
Even if it was nothing
The freedom to accept what is not

Now the ego has landed
It fell with a crash
Common sense was stranded
But now it all comes rushing back
You never knew what might hit you
While you’re carried away
Now the ego has landed
Now dawns another day

I thought that I loved her
It doesn’t mean that I don’t
Did I learn not to show it
Or set it adrift like a paper boat?
But love’s like a mirror
You like what you know
All that admiration
Hard not to let it show

You thought it was easy
It doesn’t mean that it’s hard
And maybe the answers
Are right in your own backyard
And you could get lucky
And your wishes come true
But in the meantime start digging
While you wait, it’s something to do
Track Name: No Way, No How, Nowhere
Never a borrower or lender be
No way, no how, nowhere
You say, trust me
I’ll wait and see
No way, no how, nowhere
Should I jump for joy and dance a jig?
Invest my dough in something big?
Is it lipstick on the same old pig?
No way, no how, nowhere

New financial instruments
No way, no how, nowhere
Earn in growing increments
No way, no how, nowhere
Show me one more get rich scheme
The greatest thing since margarine
A pipeline full of pipe dreams
No way, no how, nowhere

No way. I’m skeptical
You’re twitching with your eye
What is it that you’re trying to sell?
Here’s a diet pill for a big fat lie

This new thing you call a wheel
No way, no how, nowhere
It rolls around, is that the deal?
No way, no how, nowhere
That’s your latest get rich scheme
The greatest thing since Vaseline
That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen
No way, no how, nowhere

I want it all and I want it now
No way, no how, nowhere
But put in those ten thousand hours?
No way, no how, nowhere
I want the knowledge and the skill
I want the view from on the hill
Can I maybe get it as a pill?
No way, no how, nowhere
Track Name: Nothing More to Say
When the night time has descended
And colours fade away
When the sun completes its journey
So ends another day
When the clock has reached the top
And the lovers go their way
There’s just you and me together
With nothing more to say

When the drinkers are all drunken
Their money in the till
The final song has ended
And everyting grows still
The last to leave are leaving
Their footsteps fade away
When all that can be said is said
There’s nothing more to say

When the rain is through with raining
And frost is in the air
When my dreams just won’t obey me
I’ll pretend that I don’t care
When the bell has tolled its number
And all has been in vain
I’ll lay me down to dream my dreams again

When the numbers have been counted
The stories all ben told
For you no happy endings
For me no crock of gold
The nightingales are all sung out
Sleeping beauty just won’t wake
Douse the lights and say ‘goodnight’
That’s all that’s left to say